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My Homecoming Discourse

2011-11-13T18:45:00.012-07:00

The following is a transcript of my homecoming talk. In it I share many experiences that I had and a few things I learned during my mission. I did not write out my talk before I gave it. Instead I wrote down some main points I wanted to touch on and went from there. It is long. (I was the only speaker.) A friend in attendance, voice recorded it (without me knowing).

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Calfornia San Fernando Mission, Spanish speaking
April 2010 - October 2011

October 9, 2011

It’s really good to be here again with my family and my friends. Firstly, I would like to thank everyone that has supported me throughout my whole mission. I experienced some challenges during my service. I know that prayers on my behalf and on the behalf of those around me were answered. I have a testimony of prayer. It works. Thank you for all of your support.

I would like to start off by sharing a story that was told to me by my MTC companion, Hermana Kakuschke.

There once was a young man with a heart of gold. All were able to see his heart, and it appeared to be very pure and golden. The young man treasured his heart deeply and eventually arrived to become very prideful of this most beautiful possession. To his advantage, the young man would travel, flaunting it at every opportunity.
“Look at my heart,” he would say, “It is the most beautiful heart in all the land. Wouldn’t you agree?” Many did agree. Upon inspecting it, one would not be able to find a single flaw on the surface. For many years the young man went about showing his heart off to anyone that would pass, becoming more boastful and narcissistic as time went on.
One day, an older man happened to pass by him. The young man leaped at yet another opportunity to show his heart to someone else. Like the other passersby’s, the old man inspects this heart of gold.
“This is very impressive,” he says, “You appear to have a very beautiful heart. I’m sure others have told you that many times.” Handing the heart back to the young man, the old man stops and ponders. He then asks, “Has anyone ever shown you their heart?”
“No, they haven’t,” replied the younger man. In fact, it had never crossed his mind to ask to see someone else’s heart. He had always assumed that there was no heart better than his own.
“Would you care to see mine? I would like to show you,” offered the old man.

A little taken back from this unique offer and also thinking that this poor old man will not have a heart better than his own, the young man agreed.

The old man carefully took out his fragile heart. Upon seeing his heart, the young man is taken back in disgust and fright. In his hands there was something that did not resemble even the littlest bit of the heart of the younger. Was this old man sure this could be a heart at all?

It was a distorted mess of pieces smashed together. Certain places were shriveled. Pieces were missing. It appeared that it was made of different parts that didn’t fit quite right. Many different colors, bright, pastel, grey, and dark shimmered and dulled around it. But nevertheless, it was in perfectly working order. It might have even worked better than the boy’s flawless heart.

The young man finally worked up the courage to comment.
“This cannot be any heart at all. It does not look or feel like one. You must have no heart old man. For this reason you have shown me this thing. You want mine.”
The old man started to smile, “My dear lad. It is indeed a heart. You are correct that it is not like the others.” While he observes his own tender heart tears of memory start to form in his eyes. “While I have lived my life I have come to know a lot of people, a lot more people than you have. They have been dear friends, acquaintances, family, and even enemies. Every time I have met someone I have given them a piece of my heart. Many have given me pieces of their own in return. But also, many have not given me some of theirs and I am left without. I live my life to give of myself. I am left with this in return. It is the most precious thing that I have. There are memories of those I love and those that have helped me in my most desperate times. My heart, I believe, is the most valuable of all.”

Finally understanding, the young man is moved to tears. He breaks a piece of his precious, golden heart and caringly gives it to the wise old man. The old man removes a piece of his fragile heart and gives it to the young man in return.

The past year and a half I have been giving my heart to others as I have tried to serve them. My heart is broken. There are a lot of pieces missing. I have pieces that are very dear to me.

I told this story to many of my other companions. One commented, “It is a commandment for us to offer God a sacrifice of a broken heart. (3 Nephi 9:20) Sometimes I think that our heart doesn’t have to only be broken by sin. I think that in many ways God wants to intentionally break our hearts as we are continually giving pieces of it to others. Christ never sinned, yet he died of a ‘broken heart’. No matter how it is broken, I know that Christ was sent to ‘bind up the broken hearted.’ (Isaiah 61:1)”

I chose to serve a mission for many reasons. Since childhood, it’s something that has been deeply engrained in me. I don’t know why. Now that it is over, I am still trying to figure out why I have always had that desire and why I am still feeling the need to preach the gospel. I believe that it is one of the greatest desire to have. I am so grateful for the opportunity that I had to serve a mission.

I served in the California San Fernando Mission, Spanish speaking from April 2010 to October 2011 under President Jerald Martin. It is a large mission. The boundaries start in Los Angeles in the areas of Burbank and North Hollywood. If you have ever visited Universal Studios, it is part of that mission. The mission continues to extend north-east to Santa Clarita and Lancaster for 4 ½ more hours until you reach Bishop and Mammoth Lakes. Bishop is two hours south of Reno, Nevada.

I had seven absolutely wonderful companions during my mission; K. Kakuschke (MTC), S. Clark (Trainer), L. Kisor, K. Haase, J. Kiewra, G. Walton and L. Clayton. I was with Sister Kierwa the longest for a period of 6 months. Sister Kisor and I were companions two different times. I was blessed with the opportunity to train Sister Clayton who will return home in January of 2013.

I served in two areas which were complete opposites of each other. My first area was Bishop and Mammoth Lakes. Many told me I was being “exiled” because it is very far from the main parts of the mission. When I arrived in California, my Mission President told me that I would have to leave the orientation meeting early to arrive in my area before the next day. After the airplane and then a 5 hour car ride., I was very car sick. I also had no idea where I was.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of cows. Bishop is kind of a small town. It has a population of about 5,000. There are big, gorgeous mountains very similar to the mountains here in the Salt Lake Valley. Bishop is not really a farming community. It is more of a ranching and retirement town. Part of our area extended up to Mammoth which is an hour away from Bishop. Mammoth Lakes had, what it seemed like, a large Hispanic population. It is a lot like West Yellowstone National Park. There are lots of Pine Trees. It is a ski resort. I was able to see snow once during my time there.

When I arrived in the area there were four sisters. Between the four of us, we covered about 1/3 of the mission. We did a lot of driving, but we also were able to use bikes.

I was transferred to Los Angeles after 4 ½ months in Bishop. Los Angeles was quite the change. Almost everything about it was the complete opposite of Bishop. I was accustomed to the quiet, small town life. Now I was in the big city- always a police car nearby, usually with the sirens on. Instead of cows mooing there were lots of cars filled with people saying, “Mooove!”. Our area was very small compared to my first. It was one mile by one mile.

Nevertheless, it had more people in it than my first, 35,000 people! I would guess that 90% of those living in our area were Hispanic. Instead of driving, we were biking. There was never a dull moment between the police helicopters circling us to the new graffiti that seemed to appear everyday. There was always plenty of service we could do, picking up trash.

There was a lot of trash on the street mingled with abandoned shopping carts and old mattresses. It would be unfair to not call it the ghetto. It became beautiful to me. I was blessed with 11 months there. Canoga Park California has taken my heart.

The experiences that I will share with you come from that area.

Alma 17 talks about when the Sons of Mosiah were leaving on their missions. They were going to go preach to the Lamanites who were, “a wild and a hardened and a ferocious people; a people who delighted in murdering, robbing and plundering...” Canoga Park is similar to what it describes here. It is kind of a dangerous place. We worked with a lot of people that drank. They had problems with drugs. They sold drugs. There were many that had families back in their countries in South America but yet they were having affairs. There were gangs. There were a lot of bad things going on. Not everyone there was involved in those things, but many were.

I came to have a better understanding of God’s love- the love that he has for all of His children. I came to know the people that did those things. I heard their stories. I watched the spirit work in their lives. I felt the spirit lead us to teach them, find them, love them. I do love them. Through the spirit I have felt the love that God has for them. He loves them just as much as He loves us. He sent missionaries to them, just to them there. He wants them to return to His presence too. Their worth is great. My heart is full of gratitude for the opportunity I had to work with those people. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal… it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” (C.S. Lewis)

The majority of the people in Canoga Park either came from Mexico, Guatemala or El Salvador. If not, it is likely their parents did. The majority crossed the United States border illegally by swimming the river. They did so to obtain a better life in this country. Some escaped war, some poor circumstances. Many were single men that left behind their wives and children so they could support them by working here.

This morning I reported to the High Council on my mission. One asked me a question, “When an illegal resident wants to be baptized, what is the church’s policy?” They are able to be baptized without any limitations. They will be required to have the missionary discussions and have the baptismal interview like anyone else. There are no questions about residency. The baptismal questions are the same for them as they are for other people. The only thing that matters to God is worthiness. The blessings are available to them too.

The first thing that we usually teach someone is the message of the restoration. The first principle that we share as part of that message is that God is our loving Heavenly Father. We are his children. You are a child of God. A lot of people don’t know that about themselves. The central figure of our message is Christ; how He loves each one of us enough to give us this gospel so that one day we can return to live with our Father in Heaven. “Christ died just for you. If you were the only person to ever live here on earth, He would have done it just for you.”

Missionaries can’t do anything by themselves. We’re just people. We cannot convert anybody. It is the Spirit. The Spirit is the single most important element in missionary work. It’s the reason why missionaries have certain rules. It is why they study the gospel every morning. It is the Holy Ghost that testifies to people of what they are saying is true. Some don’t believe that they’re a literal son or daughter of God. They might say to themselves, “It doesn’t make sense. Why did he put me in this situation? I had travel so many days, sleepless nights to come here. I saw my friends die on the way, He doesn’t care. If He cared about me I’d have been put in different circumstances.” If you have the spirit and you testify of their worth, they feel it. They feel something telling them that it’s true.

President J. Reuben Clark Jr said, “We get nearer to the Lord through music than perhaps through any other thing except prayer.” Sometimes we went hymn tracting. Once someone opened the door to us we introduced ourselves and went on to ask if we could sing them a short hymn from our Church. We wanted to help them feel the spirit as soon as possible so we would be able to teach them.

One of these times my companion made me lead us in front as we were riding bikes. I disliked being in front because I am naturally shy and no good at starting up conversations with strangers. I said to myself, “Okay, fine, I’m going to talk to the first person that we see so I can get this over with.” We turned the first street corner we came to. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man crouching down on the sidewalk outside of his apartment building smoking a cigarette. “That one,” I thought. I was probably going a little too fast on the bike which caused me to slam on my breaks right in front of him. He was startled, and I was put in an awkward situation. The first thing I said was, “Could we sing you a song?” He was a little taken back. I can imagine why. We suddenly had him cornered between the wall and our bikes. Nevertheless he agreed. This was around Christmas time so we sang him a verse of Silent Night. Afterwards, we asked if we could come back later to share a message with him. Luckily, he agreed again.

His name was Jorge Bernal, from Mexico. He had a history of drugs, and was addicted to tobacco. He was baptized a month later. Unfortunately a few months afterwards he was deported back to Mexico. But he had the opportunity to hear and accept the gospel. The whole experience with him was amazing to me. I think that is when we started singing more. We saw how much of an affect music had on the people.

Another time we went to go find a less active member named Venidicto. We had gone there several times before but he was never home. This particular time we went back and knocked. A young man answered the door. He told us that Venidicto wasn’t there. He was working. We were about to walk away but the thought came to sing for him. “Could we sing you a song?” I asked. He didn’t really know what to say but he agreed. After we sang he accepted us the invitation to be taught.

His name was Daniel Lopez from Guatemala. He was 21 at the time. He was baptized two months later.

The Sunday after he was baptized he shared his testimony during fast and testimony meeting. He said the following: “I’ve left a lot of things behind that have happened in the past. I know that I am a new person thanks to the grace of God. I know that the church is true. I want to be a light to my family. My comfort is that God is always with me. I believe in Him.” I was filled with such undescribable joy when I heard him share that.

One of my favorite things about being in my 2nd area for so long, is that was able to meet a lot of people and see the change that occurred in their lives during that time. When I arrived in Canoga Park, the area had been opened for just a few months. I saw it change over the course of those months. The difference I felt when I left that area, and the people… They would always call us “las gueras” which means “white girls.” We would pass they and would always yell, “Gueras, gueras come over here I want to talk to you.” It was so great. The people that were outside most of the day knew us. We knew them.

One of these people was Ricardo. When I had first got to the area he was living on the streets and he was doing drugs. After a long period of not seeing him around we ran into him again. He came up to us and said, “I want to thank you. I’m going to a church. I’m off the streets. I stopped doing drugs because of you. I don’t drink anymore. Because, I know that you’re good church girls. You’re angels. Just by knowing you, you made me want to go back to church. You have helped me so much.” When I heard that, I was amazed. I had no idea we had had that effect on him. We were never able to teach him the lessons. One day, it will be so great to hear of other people that have changed from the example that we gave.

Roberto is another person that I taught very recently. He is from El Salvador. Roberto approached us two weeks after he had stopped selling drugs. He had been considered one of the drug lords in the area. He came up to us drunk and he was crying. He was desperately seeking someone that could help him change. He saw us and knew that we could help him.

A couple weeks later we were in his apartment teaching him. He expressed to us that he was feeling something different. It was something that he’s never found in any other church. There’s something different about us. He said he felt the power of love from God. He’d never felt it before in his life.

Roberto was amazing. He read the assigned chapters the Book of Mormon when we asked him to. He prayed. The way the spirit works is quite remarkable. It is humbling to see it work in people’s lives.

Yosi Velazquez started investigating the church a little over a year ago. He is from Guatemala. (We taught a lot of Guatemalans.) We had taught him all of the lessons several times. He was keeping his commitments but he had a problem. He could not understand the spirit. He was missing the “umph”. We taught him about it several times. We did everything we could to help him recognize it. He told us he knew the church was true, which testimony comes from the spirit, but he was convinced that he couldn’t feel it.

About 7 or 8 months after I had first started teaching him, my companion and I were discussing what we could do to help him. We prayed and felt the impression that we should give him a challenge to read the Book of Mormon in 40 days. We made him a calendar to follow. We went over to his house and told him, “Okay, Yosi, we’re going to read the Book of Mormon with you right now. We are going to start from the beginning. We want you to continue to read and finish it in 40 days. You’ll have to read a lot everyday as you can see on the calendar, but it will be worth it. Will you do it?” He was up for the challenge.

The Spirit immediately started working with him. A few days after he began reading he was sitting in sacrament. He began to cry. He said he felt something so beautiful. It was something he had never felt before. He also started to understand the lesson material better.

There’s power in the Book of Mormon. There is absolute power in it. I can’t even begin to describe to you how amazing it was. He couldn’t feel the spirit at all before. He finished the Book of Mormon a little over 40 days. He recently started reading it again. We challenged him to read it again before his baptism which will be January 1, 2012. (He’s being very stubborn. He will not get baptized until January 1st. He wants a new year with a new life.) Right now he’s in 2nd Nephi.

When I spoke before I was about to leave for my mission, I mentioned a girl from Singapore named Alison. She came across my YouTube page a few years ago. On my page I have some information about the church and invite all to learn more. She began to email me and ask questions about what we believe. We went on emailing back and forth and the missionaries in Singapore started teaching her. She loved everything about the church. She was not able to get baptized until she was 21. While I was on my mission she had her 21st birthday. I received an email from her this past June. I would like to read you a little bit of the email she sent me because it describes so well some of the emotions that are felt at a baptism. It is such a wonderful experience for all.

“I was baptized on the 11th of June, 2011 - exactly two weeks ago - and it was the most amazing thing that's ever, ever happened to me. I can't even begin to explain to you how beautiful the entire experience was… I was crying throughout that night after my baptism; and especially after my Confirmation the next morning. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing thereafter. It was so, so emotionally nerve-wrecking - but in a profoundly positive way. I couldn't stop smiling - it's made me truly appreciate the long wait so much more; having waited for three long years; to finally become a member of the Church! My testimony and faith have definitely grown alongside my years of being a mere 'investigator' - it's been a tough three years for me - but I know the wait was absolutely worth it all in the end!... I couldn't stop crying inside (even though the tears that streamed down my face were that of extreme joy; an absolute peace in knowing that all was finally okay - well, maybe not perfect - but still okay). I know this Church is - without a doubt - true; and as real as it can get. It completes me.”

I started crying when I read her email. I felt such an incredible happiness for her. Missionaries feel similar feelings when someone accepts the gospel. Her journey started before I was even a missionary. That is one of the reasons her story is so close to my heart. I had no “real” experience of missionary work when I put those things up on my YouTube profile, but yet she came to knowledge of the gospel from it.

In August I received another email from her. Her mom and her sister were baptized too. Again, I started crying because of the joy I felt. It is undescribable.

In Doctrine in Covenants we read that the gospel is to be preached by the weak and simple. During my mission, for a quite a while I thought my “sub-purpose” was to be weak. Most of the time, I felt like I could not do anything right. I couldn’t speak the language very well. I was trying to tell people the best news that one could hear, and it seemed like an impossible task to me. I finally gave up and accepted what the adversary was telling me- that I couldn’t do it.

In the Book of Mormon, when Ammon, one of the sons of Mosiah, arrives in the mission field he gets captured by the Lamanites. Can you imagine that? You leave for your mission and once you arrive you are thrown in jail. He becomes a servant of the King. He was still a set apart missionary, but unexpectedly he was given another task to complete. I’m sure a lot of his preaching was to the animals he was feeding.

Through his other “sub-purpose” as a servant of the King, God was able to help Ammon fulfill his missionary purpose. He ended up helping the King immensely by the power of God, and converted many people.

I pondered upon this story a lot. I came to the realization that my “sub-purpose” was not to be weak. I being weak was not helping to move the work forward. My weaknesses were there to make me humble. I could then have the power to turn them into strengths. Then I could accomplish the task I needed to complete. There is a difference between being humble and being weak. God cannot help us when we are only weak. We need to be humble enough to accept His help. Everything He does is to help us, so if he gives us our weaknesses, it is so that we can be strong. (Ether 12:27)

I did a lot of praying in order to become humble. I wanted to overcome my weaknesses instead of accepting them as they were. I think many of us have similar problems. We think that we can’t do anything. It’s just who we are. “I can’t do that. I can’t do this.” It’s not true at all. You can make it. You’re a child of God. Come unto Christ and “be perfected in Him.”(Moroni 10:32)

After I realized those things is when I became the missionary God wanted me to be. After my crutch was gone, I had to find a way to overcome those weaknesses. That’s when I became successful. There is a turning point with everyone when you can choose to remain how you are, or you can choose to change it. (2 Nephi 2:26-30) Missionaries work with people that are choosing with path to take everyday. They can accept that they’ve been involved with drugs for years and years and nothing is going to change it. Or they can try and come to Christ. He can change anyone if they just let Him.

The scripture I chose for my missionary plaque was D&C 84:88. “And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.” I didn’t realize how prophetic that scripture would be when I chose it.

It is true. There are angels with missionaries. We felt them. There are angels. There are angels all around us. Not only heavenly messengers, but they were also my dear, sweet companions, my family members, my friends, my investigators, and even the drunk on the street that would say hi every time we passed.

“When suffering we may in fact be nearer to God than we’ve ever been in our entire lives. That knowledge can turn every situation into a would be temple. Regarding our earthly journey, the Lord has promised, ‘I will go before your face, I will be on your right hand and on your left, and mine angels round about you to bear you up.’ That is an everlasting declaration of God’s love and care for us; including, and perhaps especially in times of trouble.” (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland)

My “would be temple” is Canoga Park, California. Because, that is where I learned how much God loves me and how much he loves each of his children. I have never suffered before like I have on the mission emotionally, physically, mentally and even spiritually. But I have also never felt so much peace, joy, happiness, and fulfillment after I made it through. I have never felt so close to the Lord in my life.

The mission mantle is gone. I don’t feel as close to God anymore. It’s hard. But, just like the scripture says the Lord will be with us as we testify of Him. It gives me a better reason to stay faithful in the gospel. I want Eternal Life. I want to do what God does. I want to help “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” There is no greater work. I have not found any greater joy than this.

I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to serve a mission. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Yo sé que Dios es nuestro Padre Celestial. Que, El ama a todos de sus hijos. Yo sé que Jesucristo es nuestro Salvador y el Redentor del mundo. Cristo tiene el poder para cambiar las vidas de cualquier persona, si escucha a los sururros del Espíritu. (Mosíah 3:19) La expiación de Jesucristo es infinita y eterna. Sé que la obra misional es una obra muy divina desde arriba. Yo sé que El Libro de Mormon es la palabra de Dios. Lo he leido. He sentido al Espíritu testificarme a mi de la veracidad de ello mientras mis estudios. Tambien testifico del amor del Padre. Yo sé que solamente por medio de Jesucristo nos podemos cambiar . Testifico de estas cosas en el nombre sagrado de Jesucristo, amen.

Favorite songs of the past two months.

2010-03-18T00:22:00.005-06:00

My favorite artist of the week: Björk
My favorite songs of the past two months (not in any order):

"All is Full of Love" Björk
"Human Behavior" Björk
"3055" Ólafur Arnalds
"Here Comes Destiny" Chelsey Joy
"Gobbledigook" Sigur Rós
"Hoppípolla" Sigur Rós
"Saeglópur" Sigur Rós
"Sé Lest" Sigur Rós
"Gong" Sigur Rós
"Keep Tryin'" Utada Hikaru
"Heart Station" Utada Hikaru
"1969" Boards of Canada
"Mumbles" Oscar Peterson
"One Flight Down" Norah Jones

I haven't watched all of these videos. I just did this so you could quickly reference the song.

Oh my goodness. Music is so much more enjoyable with surround sound/ear phones on. Some actually take the time to make different things happen in each ear. I love it so, so much. My taste has definitely changed. I really enjoy ambient/electronic/ new age stuff the most now besides what's on the radio.

I Believe.

2010-02-20T11:59:00.003-07:00

A lot has happened within the past month. I received my mission call to the San Fernando California Mission- Spanish Speaking. :)I had guessed California before I opened it. I smiled when I read that part. It seems like a lot of people get sent there. I'm excited to learn Spanish. It is going to be very helpful after my mission. I've met a few people that served in that area of California (which is around Los Angeles).

One week ago on Feb 13th '10 I received my endowment in the Jordan River Utah Temple. :D My mom, grandma, aunt, uncle and cousin were with me. It was such a neat experience. Everyone was so friendly and helpful. You don't have to worry when you go. There are people to assist you at every corner. :) :) :) This past Wednesday I went to the Idaho Falls Temple for a session. It was special because that is the temple that I got sealed to my family in when I was really little. I had done baptisms there a few times before. This morning I went to a session at the Rexburg Temple. I'm going to go at least once a week.

The temple is such a great place to be. I just want to say how important it is to prepare yourself to attend. Keep doing the right things. Remain worthy. It is so, so important. The temple is a wonderful place. :D

If you want to study and prepare more for the temple here are some things that I studied before I received my endowment. I was grateful I did because it helped me understand a lot.

Initiatory:
Exodus 29:4 ; 30:17-21, 29, 31
Leviticus 8:10-12 ; 14:7-8
Isaiah 1:16
Psalms 73:13
Hebrews 9:10
1 John 2:27
D&C 88:74-75, 85 ; 124:37-39

Endowment:
Moses 1-3
Abraham 3-5
Genesis 1-3 ; 32:28
Revelation 2:17
Mormon 9:12
D&C 20:17-20 ; 43:16 ; 84:20-21 ; 105:11-12 ; 138:54
Jesus the Christ chap 2

"Prepare for the Blessings of the Temple" Elder Russel M. Nelson, Ensign Mar 2002
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=1f018c6a47e0c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1

The Temple Garment: "An Outward Expression of an Inward Commitment" Elder Asay, Ensign Aug 1997
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=ebbc57b60090c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

"Worthy to Enter" Elder Garn, Ensign Oct 2007
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=d74bba12dc825110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

"The Holy Temple" Boyd K. Packer <- The little "Preparing to Enter the Temple" book they give you comes from this book.

I hope this helps! :)

I believe that everyone has their own music.

2009-12-07T01:47:00.005-07:00

A couple hours ago I got done working on a song for the night. I got online and found myself listening to some songs Sarah Grether wrote. Her stuff is fantastic. Completely different from what I write. The style, at least to my ears, is unique, and that is what makes it so awesome. Then I got on youtube and searched "grand pianos live byui". A lot of results that turned up was of this young man that goes to byui, Nik Day. I don't recall ever seeing him perform live but I checked out some of his videos and his stuff is also great! He has an album out. His music is kind of like Jason Maraz with the piano. Of course, I also have to mention Keisha McCarthy "The Chocolate Train". Here we have yet another amazing musician with her own feel to her music. Her album just came out recently! These are some talented individuals that all have a love for music.

It's amazing to think that music is the universal language. Yet, if you were to give an individual the tools they needed to write their own songs, they would come up with something that reflects their personality, their tastes, and what is inside them. Sure, music works a certain way and somethings just sound good together, but I don't think that limits the possibilities at all.

I remember a few years ago someone asked me if I thought it was amazing that millions of songs can be written with just 12 notes. (12 notes are repeated at different octaves.) I didn't think it was that amazing, if you think about the basic theory, yes, it is amazing. But there are so many options! Middle C is different from the C an octave above it, but yet, it isn't! You can have a song containing just two notes, three notes. Your song can be 1 measure. It can be 400 measures. It can be simple, or complex. It can have words, it can have different instrumentation. The possibilities seem endless.

I have been wondering. Why does my music sound the way it does? I am not good at writing lyrics at all so mine are mostly instrumental. I have never been too fond of singing, yet in the past 6 months some songs have called for some kind of voice, which in a way forces me to sing. Lack of vocal skill narrows the possible genres down if you really wanted to start classifying. Hmm. I've to listened to tons of Enya stuff ever since Summer 08. Does that have an effect on my style? DEFINITELY. I don't listen to it as much as I used to, but that doesn't mean my brain hasn't absorbed her techniques and personal style.

(Side note: I believe that the music we listen to has a great impact on our lives. We may not realize it at first but it is kind of like a sponge. You listen to a lot of something, you start soaking it up and it becomes a part of you. It influences your spirit for the better or for worse. The lyrics affect you. They get stuck in your head. They lead you to different trains of thought. The melodies and harmonies can create certain atmospheres. You are what you... listen to.)

What instruments can I play? I can play the piano. The guitar I am not super good at but I can play it. What can I do with those two instruments? It limits my options again for what my music will sound like but it won't necessarily take away from it. The melodies can be played on any instrument. Of course, the voice you give the melody is also important, so in a way it does limit again. Does it matter though? Sometimes.

I guess what I am trying to get across is.. you can pick at it and see the little things that influence someone's songs. But where does the really original stuff all start? I am not talking about some of the main stream stuff you hear on the radio. Not the music they are write for money and fame. (But it's interesting that at the same time, they are expressing themselves and who they are..) When people really write music from their soul. When they are expressing themselves or writing to convey a sincere message- It comes from deep within. It's true. You can have a knowledge of what's going on theoretically when writing, it does help if you get stuck. But those moments where "pure intelligence" flows into you and the melodies come out? It's coming from somewhere. :)

This took a different turn then what I was originally going for. I guess I will try and shortly explain the original intent. Sarah's music, I haven't really heard a lot like it. I'm sure if I listened to some of the music she does then it will be more familiar. Right now it seems like her own genre. Maybe you could classify it as Indie, but she takes her own spin on it, and she is the only one with her voice so it really is hers.

Nik's music is classified as pop, but those are his lyrics. He even has his own way of writing the piano part. He has his own voice.

Keisha's music is soulful with an acoustic twist. I haven't had the chance to listen to her album yet, but I have listened to her stuff on myspace. She has her own voice.

One person I didn't mention earlier is Eric Nielsen. He writes electric music. I've watched him mess with the controls to tweek everything to his liking. It makes it his. Electronica might sound the same no matter the artist to those that don't listen to it that often, each artist gives it their own voice.

My music is a mix of New Age and Electronica I think. It just kind of happens. I don't usually sit down and plan the whole song before I start recording. I come up with a little hook record it, then keep recording over and deleting until I come up with something I like. Melodies and ideas pop into my head and somehow they seem to work. I'm sure others that write music experiences that in their own way. I have my own voice.

Music is awesome. I've learned not to try and sound like a certain person, just let their stuff have a side influence. They have their own voice, and I have mine.

Sarah Grether: ? But here is this.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZreXCckluws
Nik Day: http://www.youtube.com/user/sctctr
Keisha McCarthy: http://www.myspace.com/keishianna
Eric Nielsen "Air Mail": http://www.myspace.com/airmailid
Chelsey Joy: http://www.myspace.com/chelseythebagel

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

2009-11-03T19:44:00.005-07:00

I've been thinking lately, things are coming up really soon! School starts in two months. I remember when I was out two months and had 3-4 more to go!

And this time last year I was thinking, in one more year I can start my mission papers. One year seemed forever away. Well, my papers are almost done. The only things left I have to do for them are... find new insurance because my school insurance doesn't cover me while I'm gone, I have to renew my driver's license because it expires in Jan and I'll be in Idaho. (I'm planning on doing that tomorrow if possible.) Then, I need to answer a couple more questions on the forms and that's it. Of course then there's the interviews with my Bishop and Stake President. :)

I've decided to submit them as soon as they're done, meaning this month or next month. (Instead of February '10) And, I've also decided that my availability date is no longer going to be June 4th, but will be in mid April, right after the semester ends. (Ah!) THAT'S SO SOON! (Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!)I'm so excited! :) :D But, I'm also way nervous. I don't feel prepared! I've been trying to study and I've learned tons but I don't know as much as I want to know. I guess that's what eternity is for, eh? I'm going to take mission prep next semester and that will be good. Hard, but good. :)

I've decided that exciting things happen for me every two weeks. When I got out of school for the "summer" I was not looking forward to the long weeks of boredom. But, two weeks later Chantelle was in Utah and visited me! Two weeks after that I got to go to Idaho for Jayme's reception! Two weeks after that we played Quidditch at Utah State! Two weeks after that we played Quidditch in Rexburg! And... then all the weeks kind of ran together and it seemed like something exciting happened every week. Then before I knew it, two big events in my mirror were closer than they appeared. :)

Oh, something else that is really exciting. I met a young man while I was working. His name is Josh. We started talking and we found out that we both write music. Well, he has written some music for an album that is gospel centered. On Saturday we got together and recorded one song. We're both going to be singing on the tracks. It's acoustic. I'm very excited about it, but we don't have very much time to record! We're going up to Rexburg this weekend Jazz Night. Before it starts we're going to do some recording there. Hopefully we'll get a lot done! :D

I believe in comforting those that stand in need.

2009-09-04T21:31:00.005-06:00

Last weekend I was in Washington visiting my roommate, Chantelle. On Friday her and I were on our way to see another one of our roommates, Emily. On the way I got a call from my brother. He told me that a close relative tried to hang himself earlier that morning and was now in the hospital. Berlin was upset about it. I was partially upset and worried. I wasn't too worried at the same time. I was more worried about Berlin. He was closer to that relative than I was, but still, I came in a close 2nd. Maybe it's because I haven't seen that relative in a few years but I feel like I should care more. Maybe what's going through my head is that he is still alive, so it will be alright. But who's to say he won't try again in the future? I've been thinking a lot about that morning. I don't think that it really hit me yet, but it's starting to.

One week later this morning, I heard what I didn't want to hear. While I was getting ready to go to institute I got a call from a nurse at a hospital. She told me that one of my friends needed to speak to me. I didn't know what was going on. My friend took the phone from the nurse and was in tears. My friend had been admitted to the hospital because she tried to kill herself earlier that morning. She was crying and I could barely understand what she was saying. I was able to calm her down but I couldn't talk to her for long because she needed to get off the phone. I couldn't believe that two times in one week, I almost lost two people that are very dear to me.

I'm trying my best to help my friend at the moment. She told me to contact certain people to let them know and I did. I'm planning on calling her later tonight to see how she is doing. I live (give or take) a couple thousand miles from each of them, and I don't know what to do. Right now I am planning on keeping in close contact with each through phone. I haven't called my relative yet because I think he would be ashamed of what happened. I don't know what to say to him, but I know I need to talk to him.

I ask everyone to please keep them in your prayers and if any go to the temple please put their names on the prayer roll. (Message me for names, I would like to keep them as confidential as possible.) Thank you.

I believe in the Honor Code.

2009-08-11T01:09:00.005-06:00

I believe in the honor code because it teaches valuable lessons and it is founded upon the teachings of Jesus Christ. If I live the honor code, I am worthy of a temple recommend. I will be healthy. I will be a respectable person. The honor code helps me to become a better person.

While I'm not at school I still try and live the honor code. One thing that's hard for a lot of people I think once they get home is obeying the curfew. I try my best to be home before curfew (12am everyday, 1am Fri). It's a blessing, because I can be home and safe, and also my mom doesn't have to worry.

I really can't describe in words how grateful I am for the honor code. I shouldn't say just the honor code. What I really should be saying is that I am very grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I wish I could just let you feel how I feel about the honor code. I know it's true. If we follow it we will be happy. It's the same way with the gospel. Okay, I really think the gospel and the honor code go hand in hand, because these universities were inspired of the Lord. :) I just love it so so so much!

There is a part of the honor code I didn't put on here that says we should obey it when we are not at school because we are still representatives of the school. I think it should say we are disciples of Jesus Christ and strive to represent HIM. It's not only the school we represent when we come home and continue to do what's right, we are following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ.

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men.... If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. (Thirteenth Article of Faith).

As a matter of personal commitment, the faculty, administration, staff, and students of Brigham Young University, Brigham Young University-Hawaii, Brigham Young University-Idaho, and LDS Business College seek to demonstrate in daily living on and off-campus those moral virtues encompassed in the gospel of Jesus Christ and will:

1. Abide by the standards of Christian living taught by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This includes graciousness and consideration for others and the observance of high principles of honor, integrity, and morality.
2. Be honest in all behavior. This means to refrain from cheating, plagiarizing, or knowingly giving false information.
3. Live a chaste and virtuous life. This includes abstinence from all sexual relations outside the bonds of marriage.
4. Obey, honor, and sustain the law.
5. Comply with all of the employing unit’s regulations. This includes compliance with rules relating to campus organizations and to the use of the employing unit or off-campus housing or other facilities.
6. Use clean language.
7. Respect others. This includes:

1. Not physically or verbally abusing any person and not engaging in conduct which threatens or endangers the health or safety of others; and
2. Not obstructing or disrupting the study of others, the performance of official duties by officers or employees, the teaching, research, disciplinary, administrative or other functions of the university or other authorized activities on the premises of the university.

8. Respect property rights. This includes refraining from theft, concealment, damage, or misuse of the property of others.
9. Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, and substance abuse. This includes refraining from the possession, use, or distribution of any narcotic or dangerous drug (as defined by applicable law), except as prescribed by a licensed medical practitioner.
10. Participate regularly in church services.
11. Observe BYU-Idaho standards of dress and grooming. See dress and grooming standards below.
12. Observe high standards of taste and decency. This includes refraining from disorderly, lewd, indecent, or obscene conduct or expression.
13. Help others to fulfill their responsibilities under this Code.

The first step.

2009-08-02T22:19:00.009-06:00

Today was one of the days I've been waiting for since I was 14. I took the first official step towards a mission! (Not counting the decision.) I had the first of many meetings with my Bishop. I am so excited! AH! I cannot stand it! :) Ah, I'm going to cry I'm so excited. Ha ha. :) I was hoping to start my papers today, but I can't because my membership records haven't been transferred from my ward in Rexburg to my home ward yet. I sent in a request for them a week ago but I think they're a little slow since that ward isn't meeting over the break. My Uncle said that our ward should get the records by Tuesday, so then he'll open up a file for me and I can start filling things out! I'm going to try hard not to rush through the paperwork, because I'm so darn excited and I'm not planning on leaving until June next year.

For those that are unfamiliar with how this process works;
I can begin filling out paper work and such 6 months before I turn 21 (Jan 2010). I'll be 21 in five months. I can submit my papers 100 days before my availability date. For a lot of people, it usually is their birthday, but in my case mine will be at the beginning of June. (My mom wants me to be able to attend my brother's high school graduation.) That means I can submit my papers sometime the last week of February 2010. I will have 6 months to finish my paper work, doctor's visits and other things before I can submit them. 6 months is the average for how long that takes. Once I submit my papers I will get my call (a letter from the Prophet, telling me where I will be serving for 18 months, what language I will speak, when I leave for the Missionary Training Center and other instructions) anywhere from 2-5 weeks after. Usually people get their call in two weeks.

It's going to be so awesome, but at the same time I'm very nervous! I'm not very outgoing towards people I've just met, and I'll have to change that. This will be an incredible opportunity to preach the Gospel! :)

If you would like to learn more about missionaries here are a couple links:
http://lds.about.com/od/programs3foldmission/a/ldsmissionaries.htm
http://mormonism.suite101.com/article.cfm/fulltime_lds_missionary_service

This picture is of Alison, who is my friend that lives in Singapore. I met her on youtube. She bombarded me with questions about the church and I referred her to the missionaries. These are the sister missionaries that taught her the gospel. :)

On another note, I am missing my roommates terribly. Katrina was on facebook earlier this evening and I was so excited to talk to her! It made me incredibly happy. I haven't seen/talked to her for a week and a half. That's a long time when you've lived with someone for 7 months. I talk to Mary about every other day when she's online :) and I've been texting Emily pretty often :). I'm writing Chantelle a letter because I like writing letters more than texting. I haven't talked to Jayme. I think she's busy with her fiance. Ha ha. Man, I had some amazing roommates this past year including Jessica, Charity and Morgan ha ha. I love them all so much. Whenever I get the chance to talk to any of them it makes my day so much brighter! After all, they were part of my life everyday. :) I miss my other friends from school too. Rexburg is the best. I want to go back so bad, but I'll just have to be patient. January will come soon enough I suppose. :)

I start working at the Church Office Building again tomorrow and that will be excellent. The only part about it I'm not looking forward to is getting all greasy and gross from cleaning the friers and the grill. It will be interesting to see how fast I need to get things done. The Church put a freeze on jobs last December after I left (my boss kept me on payroll) and so when someone quits from the cafeteria, my boss can't hire someone to replace, at least I'm pretty sure no one new has been hired. It's hard to clean everything with only a few people. I like this job most out of any that I've had. I ride trax to work. I get off before Temple Square, go through the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and then through the underground parking lot to the cafeteria. :)

I think this is going to be a good fall. :)

I believe in writing in a journal as a little kid.

2009-07-28T22:57:00.002-06:00

Why? Because little kids are funny and reading what you wrote as a little kid is even funnier. It's really great when you can go back and then remember what you were talking about! I know we lose a lot of our memories as we get older, and it's just a good idea to keep a journal. I'm glad I kind of kept one when I was little. I had a good laugh about some of my journal entries.

Here are a few you can laugh about:
___
Thursday, May 20, 1999 (10 yrs old)
Dear Journal,

Today at the High School it was field day! Well you don’t think it was exiting! I won second place ribbon for Frisbee throw. I got 91’ 10”. The person in first place got 92’. I got another ribbon, fourth place, for the 400 meter relay. Our team was awesome. Stefanie got 4th place for the standing long jump. Berlin was sick today. Berlin’s my brother. He’s in first grade.

Well the wind is really blowing tonight. At the field it was hot and not it’s cold.

Man I love Animorphs. These are all the books I have, #1, 2, 3, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, and 26. I am in the Animorph Book Club.

Today’s the coolest day this is the day I have gotten the most ribbons in my life.

Bye! Love,
Chelsey S.
---
Tuesday, May 25, 1999
Dear Journal,

My favorite color is, purple. I don’t put the color on anything. The color I mostly use is blue. Maybe blue is my favirte color, who knows? Today I helped dad mow the lawn. I got to mow the lawn all by myself. And it was one you ride to. The stiring was hard to do, but I got the hage of it. Only 7 more days of school left. I think of 9!! I’m going to be glad to get out of school.

Bye!
Love,
Chelsey S.
___
Tuesday, October 26, 1999
Richard Berlin E Schlegel
Dear Journal,
I am going to tell you a bought my brother Berlin. His real name is Richard, butt for short My family calls him Berlin. He has blond short hair, a cute face, and nice. Berlins bedroom is next to mine.
___

Sunday, June 3, 2001 (12 yrs old)
Dear Journal,

I can’t wait for 7th grade to start. I’m worried. I’m scared that I won’t be able to find my classes. Or maybe it’s not that. Maybe I’m just exicted about going to the higher level of school. I mean, won’t the 8th graders pick on me and the rest of the kids at school. What if I can’t find my locker?
I know there will be people there help me. How will I carry my books to every class? How will I have enough time to switch my books? I know I can’t carry a backpack around the school. What if I die in a car crash over the summer like Michael Hoffman. He died in a car reck before he was going to start 7th grade in one week. This will be a big change from putting your things in our desk to everything in your lockers. As I continue to write this I feel more confident about this. Now I know everything will go smooth. I’m glad I’m my own person.

My Journal Jar:
Q: What is a fun thing you and your family do together?
A: A fun thing we do together is going to movies in the summer and in the winter we go sledding. I think that is fun.
Q: Tell about your grandparents.
A: My grandpa died when I was in second grade, but I’ll tell what I remember. My grandpa was my favorite. He used to look at the stock marke section of the newspaper. I used to guess up or down. Then I used to try to run past him to see if he could catch me. I also used to sit on his knee and figure out which was the good horse or bad. I guess and sat on his knee. Then he would give me a ride on his knee. Another time on Sunday he’d lay in front of the TV and watch football. I’d lay behind him. He also used to hold me up in the air by holding my knees. He died on Feb. 26th, 1997. The funeral was on my Gotcha Day. I was scared.

My gradma is still alive. She always bakes cookies and cake. She lives in Bozeman Montana. I get to see her a lot. We go there almost every day. She always comes on family trips. She is my mom’s mom. My grandpa was my mom’s dad.

My dad’s mom and dad I don’t know a lot about. I rarely see them. They both smoke. They live in Bozeman too.

---

Ha ha. The end.

A ghost from my past.

2009-07-24T15:36:00.004-06:00

I'm home from school until January. My room is a disaster. My family kind of turned it into a storage room. So, as I unpack I decide to clean out my dresser drawers at the same time. I don't really use them so there are a lot of old papers in them. As I was going through them I found a letter I wrote to myself when I was 15. In Church my Sunday School teachers had us write letters to ourselves. They were going to mail them to us when we graduated from high school. They did. When I got the letter in 2007 I was completely surprised because I had forgotten all about it. Well now I had forgotten about it again. It has been two years since I graduated. I re-read the letter and I would like to share it with you. You can laugh if you want ha ha. It's really interesting seeing what you wanted yourself to accomplish and what was going on in your life that you felt was most important.
---
Hey Chelsey!

If you don't remember, you wrote this to yourself on November 28, 2004.
Here are some questions:

1) Are you a pro at piano? If not, what have you been doing for the last 3 years? Get busy!
2) Have you read the Book of Mormon yet? Are you even still active? It's true! Faith like a child!! Believe!!!
3) Are these people still your friends? Cami Baron, Stephanie Presley, Cara Hamer, Morgan Goates?
4) These are some of the best people you have met so call them now. You never know, you might make someone's day.
5) Don't be mean. Treat others as you want to be treated.
6) God gave you your talents, use them. Humble yourself.
7) Found a guy? Remember there's one waiting for you.
8) If you've done something stupid.... repent!
9) You are beautiful!
10) Read your Patriarchal Blessing!
11) Teach your kids piano.
12) Love yourself.
13) Be caring for others.
14) Serve and make someone's day.
15) Do something unexpected.
16) Do you remember how to play "All of Me" by Jon Schmidt?
17) Seminary, good times?
18) Walk your kids by the park.
19) Live here in Murray!

Love,
Me/You/Chelsey :)
---

I think this is absolutely hilarious. Ah, bless my little 15 year old self. There was some good in me ha ha. I am actually kind of proud of myself because I've actually taken my own advice without realizing it.

This letter adds to my testimony that I can become who I want to be. I'm almost positive I wasn't doing the things on this list at the time, but that's who I wanted to be, someone who does those things, and now I am doing (most of) these things. It's been 5 years, and it feels like it was forever ago. This letter just amazes me that I wanted that for myself. I'm so happy. :)

I believe that my facebook status can say a lot in a couple of sentences.

2009-06-20T22:30:00.004-06:00

My status updates. Why did I choose to display a certain aspect of my life to my network of friends? There are many reasons why I choose to display a piece of my life.
Sometimes I want people to know what I’m doing.
Sometimes I’m bored.
Sometimes I want to remind myself later about what I was doing.
Sometimes I think things are funny.
Everyone else does it.
I think the only reason why I get on facebook is so I can read everyone’s status’s.

Here are all my status’s starting with the very of April:

April 1, 09: Chelsey Schlegel wonders what is making the noise inside of the wood vent in the Romney?! (See video)
April 2, 09: Chelsey Schlegel has a new video on her profile and on youtube. It’s one minute and one second long.
April 4, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is listening to a Prophet of God speak. She will be listening to apostles and servants of Jesus Christ speak also. Anyone can listen and watch. It’s on TV. (10am-12pm & 2-4pm)
April 4, 09: Chelsey Schlegel absolutely loves this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhLlnq5yY7k
April 6, 09: Chelsey Schlegel doesn’t like it when people are loud.
April 7, 09: Chelsey Schlegel wonders why she does what she does.
April 9, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is home. :)
April 12, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is remembering Elder Holland’s Conference talk, and is watching a great video to go along with it.
April 12, 09: Chelsey Schlegel now has a blog: www.chelseythebagel.blogspot.com
April 14, 09: Chelsey Schlegel had fun dancing and doing the work with her brother.
April 16, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is at Jessica’s house in Seattle with Chantelle. Washington is sooo cool! So many trees and frogs!
April 16, 09: Chelsey Schlegel has had such a grand time in Seattle. She especially had a greate time with Chantelle while they played with the many little kids at the reception.
April 17, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is trying to maker her family’s half dead lawn look better before she leaves for Idaho tomorrow.
April 18, 09: Chelsey Schlegel’s got chickens jackin’ her style. They be copyin’ her swagger.
May 19, 09: Chelsey Schlegel: Mozel Tov!
April 20, 09: Chelsey Schlegel had a nice time at school today. :)
April 22, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is in the geology lab studying minerals and thinks that Halite tastes good.
April 24, 09: Chelsey Schlegel now is a geology minor.
April 25, 09: Chelsey Schlegel hasn’t seen her dad for 2 years. :)
April 26, 09: Chelsey Schlegel doesn’t like contention of any sort so she leaves while it is present. Be nice people.
April 29, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is diatonic and everyone else around her is chromatic.
May 4, 09: Chelsey Schlegel just went the the most hilarious music theory class she has ever been to. Bro Jones is awesome.
May 5, 09: Chelsey Schlegel went and played the trumpet with the 5th grade band today. They played “Dragon Slayer”. It was very intense music.
May 5, 09: Chelsey Schlegel had fun eating cake and blowing up balloons in the Snow Elevator with her friends. :)
May 7, 09: Chelsey Schlegel drempt all night long that she was sight singing. What a nightmare. She blames Modus Novus.
May 7, 09: Chelsey Schlegel thinks the lady on the Yoga DVD is right.
May 8, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is on her way home to Utah for the weekend. She is going to surprise her mom for Mother’s Day. :)
May 9, 09: Chelsey Schlegel’s second favorite word is swagger.
May 10, 09: Chelsey Schlegel loves her moms. :)
May 11, 09: Chelsey Schlegel just had FHE with President & Sister Clark (BYU-Idaho) and President Osguthorpe (General Sunday School President).
May 14, 09: Chelsey Schlegel had so much fun at Jazz Night!
May 14, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is practicing the tuba.
May 16, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is back from Yellowstone and had a great time. She saw a bison and its calf minutes after birth.
May 17, 09: Chelsey Schlegel doesn’t know where she is going to go.
May 18, 09: Chelsey Schlegel just got done practicing the banjo. Yay Cripple Creek. What an awesome hick song.
May 19, 09: Chelsey Schlegel got a concussion last night but is okay. Just headache and throbing. It was fun though!
May 20, 09: Chelsey Schlegel ate a work fresh out of the soil for $5 a couple years ago.  Will do again for money!
May 20, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is at Main Street Jazz. I want to see YOU here next Wednesday. APX Building on Main in good ol’ Rexburg Idaho. 9-11pm. Drinks BYUI Friendly ha ha.
May 23, 09: Chelsey Schlegel went to bed at 11:30. At 1am she was awakened by a tapping on her window. It was her friends wanting to run through the sprinklers at the church. Random!
May 23, 2009: Chelsey Schlegel is thinking about watching Pocahontas tonight while gluing some of her crippled gnomes back together.
May 24, 09: Chelsey Schlegel feels like an only child. :(
May 24, 09: Chelsey Schlegel got kidnapped in downtown Seattle in her dream. Stupidest kidnappers ever. They didn’t even check to see if she had her cell phone with her the whole time so she was texting in her pocket but no one got the hint to call the police! Gah, what a messed up dream.
May 25, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is playin’ with her dog in the backyard! :)
May 26, 09: Chelsey Schlegel went to jazz band at Murray High this morning! :) :) :) Good memories. :)
May 26, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is back in Rexburg. Ra ta ta ta t t t ta ta ta.
May 27, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is sad.
May 28, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is sitting in the practice room listening and figuring out the chrods for Oleo.
May 28, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is exicted for her mom to come to Rexburg tomorrow for the weekend!
May 30, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is adopted, remember? That’s why she doesn’t look like her mom. Silly people. Ha ha.
May 31, 09: Chelsey Schlegel had a nice time at church and is glad her mom got to come this weekend.
June 1, 09: Chelsey Schlegel sometimes runs, sometimes hides, and sometimes she’s scared of you.
June 3, 09: Chelsey Schlegel just witnessed the most incredible thing in the history of music… A solefege scat that was insane!!!!!!
June 4, 09: Chelsey Schlegel thinks she doesn’t want to be a msuic major anymore.
June 5, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is working on her composition for the music theory assignment.
June 8, 09: Chelsey Schlegel had a great Sunday. 
June 8, 09: Chesley Schlegel and Emily Bigler should not have stayed up that late. But Chelsey is in a great mood!
June 8, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is a fan of not being eaten by sharks.
June 9, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is a happy person.
June 10, 09: Chelsey Schlegel’s favorite key to play in and listen to is Bb Major and Eb Minor. 
June 11, 09: Chelsey Schlegel : Major and Minor chords the same thing? [0,3,7] & [0,3,7]?!
June 12, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is making smores for lunch.
June 12, 09: Chelsey Schlegel’s little brother is in Alabama for Debate Nationals!!! GO BERLIN!
June 13, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is making cool electronic music with Eric and Reese.
June 15, 09: Chelsey Schlegel finished Harry Potter 6 again. Starting reading it last week...?.. pretty good with school going on.
June 15, 09: Chelsey Schlegel would like to take harp lessons in the fall in Salt Lake. Anyone know of any teachers?
June 17, 09: Chelsey Schlegel got soaked while walking to class. No coat 
June 18, 09: Chelsey Schlegel wants to hike the R around 11am Sat. Anybody want to come? It’s funn!! It’s a cool volcano!
June 18, 09: Chelsey Schlegel is offically a music major. She got her letter of acceptance today. 
June 19, 09 : Chelsey Schlegel put the song she wrote for theory on myspace. www.myspace.com/chelseythebagel “lullaby theory”
June 20, 09 : Chelsey Schlegel really wants to play Oleo with the band right now.
June 20, 09: Chelsey Schlegel’s favorite font is Calisto MT.

Those are only posts from 3 months. I joined facebook in 2007. I bet you learned a lot about me from those posts. I wanted to type them all out, but I don’t have enough time tonight. I would be in the computer lab forever! It was fun looking back over my past status.
I will type out all my status’s eventually. It will be really interesting to see the ones from 2007. That was a long time ago! 

Chelsey Schlegel is going to print this page off and go back to her apartment now. ;)

I believe in charity.

2009-06-08T00:43:00.008-06:00

(I tagged everyone that I'm friends with on Facebook in our Relief Society.)

Today in Relief Society our lesson was on charity. I really enjoyed the lesson. It hit home for me. I know I can do more on my part to be more charitable towards people. I have been trying, but I never feel like I do enough.

During the lesson I looked charity up in the Bible Dictionary. It says, "The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ." I really like that it says charity is not merely affection. I'm starting to gain a greater understanding of this everyday. There are many parts to charity, but going to talk about the service aspect of it. I've come to learn that when I start doing things for other people, especially those I do not know very well, I start to grow more fond of them. I have affection. As I try to serve them more and more my love for them deepens. I have a greater desire to serve others and it seems like I can never be full because my love keeps growing and so does my desire to serve. I love the feeling of it all. I am the happiest when I am making people happy. I desire it.

In 1 Nephi 11, an angel asks Nephi if he understands what the tree is in Lehi's vision (1 Nephi 8). Nephi answers, "Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things." The angel then responds, "Yea, and the most joyous to the soul."

(Wow, I'm really feeling the spirit right now.) I know what I have been experiencing in my own life is a little taste of the tree of life. That's exactly what it is. When I possess charity, that small taste of the tree of life is very delicious to me. I truly desire it. I want to be better. I want to serve others. I want to know Christ.

Sometimes you wish you could know what it was like to be there when the scriptures were being written, to live in those times, to hear of those visions, to experience them, to know and to feel exactly what the prophets did. I have wished for those things, and at this very moment I know what the tiniest portion of the fruit from the tree of life tastes and feels like. It's marvelous. I want more of it. The scriptures are very real, they are true. I am not imagining this. At least right now, I can see myself standing with Lehi at the tree of life eating. It's such a wonderful thing. I want everyone to experience it. Those that have felt the quiet promptings of the spirit, or felt the Holy Ghost burn within them have felt the same thing. Things are staring to open up to me.

I'm also thinking about the love Christ had for each of us, his charity. For the opening song in Sunday School we sang "Jesus Once of Humble Birth". I love that song so much. We sang it in Savior of the World last summer. I never noticed the contrasting phrases before, at least they never hit me as hard as they did today:

Jesus once of humble birth, now in glory comes to earth.
Once he suffered grief and pain, now he comes on earth to reign.
Once a meek and lowly Lamb, now the Lord, the great I Am.
Once upon the cross he bowed, now his chariot is the cloud.
Once rejected by his own, now their King he shall be known.
Once he groaned in blood and tears, now in glory he appears.
Once forsaken, left alone, now exalted to a throne.
Once all things he meekly bore, but he now will bear no more.

At the bottom of this hymn there are two scriptures that can be used as references and additional study. (Luke 5:7 & Matthew 25:31.) I think one scripture that should be included is Moroni 7:45; "And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." Now, look at the first phrases of the hymn above. There's one thing that all those phrases have in common, charity. He did it all for us. He suffered grief and pain for us. He groaned in blood and tears for us. He was left alone, as Elder Holland said this past conference, "He had to feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine Spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone." ["None Were With Him", Ensign, May 2009] He bowed on the cross because it was the Father's will. He was kind. He thought no evil or rejoiced not in iniquity. He bore all things. He hoped all things, and he endured all things. And then, he partook of the fruit from the tree of life. He obtained what was most desirable above all things, and by doing so, he made it possible for us to do the same.

Christ made it possible for everyone to receive the blessing of eternal life through the atonement, which was indeed charity. When we have charity towards one another, we are creating a greater bond between each of us, a stronger love and sincere concern for the welfare of our brothers and sisters. (Woah!! I heard that because of the atonement, Christ "purchased" us in a sense. Could this possibly have something to do with that "bonding"? Since he has the most charity out of all of us that only makes sense. :) ) I don't know if my thinking is making sense to whoever reads this, but it sure is to me!

"Wherefore, my beloved [sisters], if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail-- But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him." Moroni 7:46-47

:)

I believe that all good things come of Christ..

2009-06-03T21:38:00.003-06:00

Right now I am sitting in the practice room. This week I was assigned to practice my minor 7th chord arpeggios. Easy enough. I prefer 7th chord arpeggios over triads (triads are three noted chords such as C E G). I was just thinking, It's much easier for me to play four note arpeggios then the triads because there's an extra note closer to the starting pitch. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about here's an example of what I'm playing. A minor 7th chord has four notes. I play one note at a time ascending and descending for three octaves. So.. C Eb G Bb , C Eb G Bb , C Eb G Bb , C Bb G Eb , C Bb G Eb , C Bb G Eb C.

I then realized why it's so much easier for me to play it other than technically it's easier.

I started thinking about the first four principles of the gospel; faith, baptism, repentance, Holy Ghost. Each note in the 7th chord represents a principle.

Each principle works together, just like each note of the chord. Each note has a purpose and when played together it is most effective. :) the end ha ha.

I believe in progressing while hitting a brick wall.

2009-06-01T15:08:00.001-06:00

I don’t know what to do. In a way I feel like I’m going down the wrong path. My desires are extremely complicated and I feel like I can’t “complete” them. My major is music, right? I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Why is it my major? I’m not going to teach band. I’m not going to be a professional performer. I’m probably not going to own my own music store. I remember my first “official” semester here. Sister Brower was lecturing everyone in Ear Training 1 on the abilities we need to be able to have to do this major. It scared a lot of people away but I stayed because I knew I could do it. I wasn’t taking major lessons on my instrument that semester because I was planning on transferring to USU my junior year to do the music therapy program. I needed to know how to play the guitar better, so I was taking non-major guitar lessons. I did that my whole Freshman year. Last semester I started my major lessons. I decided to take them on the piano. (I was debating between piano, guitar and saxophone.) Why? My mom has spent so much money over the years on my piano lessons. I never really practiced though. But yet, I could get better in a week without really practicing. I never spent hours at the piano at a time. I was traditionally trained. Not much classical, just the fun stuff. Ah, this is so complicated. Anyways, here I could choose between classical lessons and jazz lessons. I enjoy listening to classical more than playing it. Also, I don’t think I have the chops for the fast crazy lines. Occasionally I do play classical for fun, but I don’t like to practice it. So, I chose jazz. The only jazz experience I had was playing piano for jazz band in 8^th grade, and then in 12^th. My piano teacher had been working with me on it a bit, but we were focusing more on arranging and composing. That’s the stuff I like. So, here I am taking jazz piano lessons. I am not a jazz studies major. I am not a jazz studies major. I am NOT a jazz studies major. (I’m not a performance or education major either.) Why do I keep repeating that? I feel like my teachers expect me to know a bunch of stuff about jazz piano already. No… I do not. I know they know that too, but ajd;kfljad;lksfja I feel like they’re expecting too much out of me. I understand that I need to get good at it because now that’s my major instrument, but I don’t want to get “good” at it. That’s right… I said it. I’m just doing it because “pop” piano isn’t an option. There’s a certain style of piano I love. I don’t know what to call it.. because I don’t know if there’s really a name for it. It’s how I play. Maybe you could call it “new age”. I do want to improve, but I don’t think I want to get to the point where I can play any chart that’s put it front of me. I’m not going into jazz. It is useful to know how to play it. I feel pretty content with my piano abilities. I know I can improve in a lot of areas, and I’ll practice when I need to so I can. I just don’t feel like learning jazz is life or death. (Even though in combos and jazz band I feel like that. Probably because it’s a class and I know I NEED to be at a certain level.) Another reason I took it because I would really like to arrange hymns. And I feel that a jazz knowledge would help me. In theory one we sometimes had assignments where we had to change the chords of a hymn. I made mine sound jazzy because I love that sound. Ah ha. That’s why I wanted to major in music! For the purpose of knowing how to change keys and such when I arrange hymns. I want to know how it works. But, at the same time, composing and arranging can annoy me soooo bad! There are so many possibilities of chords and melodies when arranging and composing a song. To me, songs are a voice, they’re an atmosphere or representing a person. I’m constantly changing, so… when I try and write a song, it keeps changing. I’m never satisfied. You could be saying, but Chelsey, a song can represent a certain moment in time, one that you want to go back and look on to be reminded of. Yes. Yes. That doesn’t bug me. That’s why any song that I don’t write doesn’t bug me. It’s already solidified. That moment has happened, and can happen. I don’t even know if this is making sense to whoever reads this. (I would like you to know I was about to have a major breakdown over all of this so I skipped class to vent.) Maybe now you’re saying. Why don’t you just change your major? You’re right, I could. But I can’t! I’m so far into it right now. I do want a music degree, but I’m interested in other things at the same time. I will use my degree, but maybe more for a hobby, not a job. I want the degree, without the major lessons. Ha. There. I don’t like to practice. I dislike it most of the time. There, I said that too. I know it’s making me better, but I feel like it’s not making me what I want to be better at. That’s not the type of music I want to play or arrange. That’s what I’ve been trying to say… in a way. And also I don’t know where I’m going with it. I doubt I’ll play jazz out of college. I will if I end of up teaching private lessons, which will probably happen sometime in my future. So I feel that even though I’m progressing at it, I’m hitting a brick wall at the same time.

Now, my other desires? I am a geology minor. Bet a lot of you didn’t know that. Why am I a geology minor? My grandpa was a geologist. I want to make him proud. I want to possibly work at Yellowstone Park sometime in the future. I like being outside and observing the things around me. That was an easy choice. I don’t know how I’ll like it when I get further into the classes, but right now I like it. Identifying rocks is kind of hard though.

I want to go on a mission. I’ll start my papers this fall. Sure, I could meet a guy within the next 7 months and get married. But I don’t think it will happen. I’ve wanted to go on a mission since I was 14. A missionary from Canada served in my ward when I lived in Montana. She was a great example to me. She wanted me to be a better person. I guess it’s not really my “duty” if you go deep enough. For one, I’m a girl, and girls don’t have to serve missions. Two, I’m not from the tribe of Ephraim. I am from Judah. Judah’s “job” hasn’t really been revealed yet. I’ve been thinking about that. Christ was from Judah. Christ was the ultimate example. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to be a better example for people because Christ was, and since I guess I’m kind of a blood relative of Christ I need to act like it. A mission would help me be a better example, and it would be such a great opportunity to teach people about the gospel so they can better their lives and strive to be worthy to return into God’s presence. I have other reasons too, but I will not go into that right now.

I loved dinosaurs when I was little. I wanted to be a paleontologist. I thought it would be so cool. I loved Egypt. I wanted to be an Egyptologist. I wanted to be an archeologist. Wait, I still want to be all those things. I want to dig for lost civilizations, animals and treasures. I want to do that. But how bad do I want it? Right now, I would choose that stuff over music. I’m too far into the music though. Some days I want the music. Some days I don’t.

What do I really want? I decided to take a look at my life and see the direction I was heading in when I wasn’t focusing on school. I’ve come to the conclusion I just really want to connect with the things around me. That includes plants, animals, people, the atmosphere. I want to help people feel good about themselves and make them happy. During my off time from school I go on drives out to nowhere, to think and to “be” nature. I do it to feel the sand fall through the cracks of my fingers, to feel the dew from the grass on my feet, to taste the dry air. During my free time I write notes to people, think of ways to make those around me happy. That’s all I want. I want everyone to be happy. I want to gain a better sense of what’s around me. That might sound kind of cheesy but it’s true. I don’t need music. I don’t need to be rich. This might sound silly, but I guess I kind of am like Pocahontas. She was always in nature, painting with the colors of the wind (ha ha). That’s what I do… but there’s no major for that is there? I feel like it’s right though.

I like to be spiritually connected with everything.

Advice is welcome.

I believe in unity.

2009-05-04T14:24:00.003-06:00

Elder Bednar came to BYU-Idaho to give a CES Fireside yesterday. I was able to get a ticket to attend. I sat with Chantelle and Jayme. I saw a lot of people I knew there. Some friends were in the choir and one, Arthela, gave the closing prayer. (Arthela is in my quartet for Ear Training.)

It was so awesome to see some people from Church Headquarters there filming and protecting. It made me feel like I was back at the Church Office Building. If I go home in the fall I will be working there again most likely. It's a great place.

As I was sitting there I got such a great feeling. I was there to hear from an Apostle of Jesus Christ- someone who has most likely spoken face to face with Christ. Everyone else was there for the same reason. There were thousands more watching on TV and that would see the broadcast from all over the world. Ally would see it. I felt like running up onto the stage and saying hi to her in the camera. She lives in Singapore. The securtity would have tackled me though ha ha.

Man, it was so awesome being there with everyone. It was another witness to me that the church is true. And everything that Elder Bednar was saying was good. It was light. It came from Christ.

I love going to school here because of the LDS population. I love that we can talk about Christ in the classroom and learn how science, or music relates to the Gospel. I love the unity. I love that I can kneel with my roommates and classmates in prayer. I love that we can make stupid Mormon jokes and everyone understands and laughs. I love that I can listen to spiritual music on Sundays and go to church with my roommates. I love that the people around me, more often than not, uplift and inspire me. I love that I can live in an environment where I can feel the spirit everyday. There is a feeling a peace and unity in all those things.

We all share a common goal, and that is, we are trying to live our lives so that we can return to live with our Eternal Father in Heaven.

"And let every man deal honestly, and be alike among this people, and receive alike, that ye may be one even as I have commaded you." D&C 51:9

-- Post From My iPod

I believe in the heavens.

2009-05-03T00:37:00.004-06:00

Ever close your eyes? Ever stop and listen?

It was 11:40PM. It had been raining all day. Without wiping the water off my bike I climbed on. I wasn't sure where I was going but I wanted to go somewhere I could lay down and look up into the sky. I rode west and then turned north. The breeze felt so good. It wasn't cold, just cool. The rain wasn't falling as hard as it had been. It was a light drizzle but heavy enough that you could hear it as it hit the ground. I sped up a street taking in everything.

Ever feel alive and you've nothing missing?

I found myself at Porter Park. There were only a few people on the play ground. Soon after my arrival they left. No one was on the field. It was perfect. My bike and I deserted the side walk and made tracks in the wet grass. I founda nice place about 10 feet from some trees. I got off my bike, walked a few feet and layed down. I pulled out my iPod and turned on the song that I had previously chosen to listen to; Wild Child by Enya. As I layer there, I stared into the heavens. Their grey face was weeping softly. I felt it on my face.

Let the rain fall down every where around you. Give into it now. Let the day surround you... let the rain go on and on.

I watched the sky move and speak. It was majestic. It was absolutely beautiful. It was one of the most wonderful moments I've ever had. There is no way one could not believe in a God if they experienced that. It definately strengthened my testimony.

What a day to take to. What a day to make it through. What a day to take to, a wild child.

-- Post From My iPod

I believe in non-member missionaries.

2009-05-02T02:05:00.003-06:00

This is a note I posted on facebook on Jan 3, 2009. I liked it and just wanted to put it on this blog.

I met Ally on youtube. She lives in Singapore. I told her about the church and we discussed it with each other. She already believed most of the things we did such as the word of wisdom. It was incredible. I referred her to mormon.org so she could chat online with the missionaries. Missionaries can explain things a lot better then I can! She did that and got the missionaries to her home. She is just amazing!! Holy cow! She is soooo into the Gospel and reading scriptures and everything! She's going to get baptized in March. She wanted a very special date (her birthday, she'll be 19!). I got baptized on my birthday too!.. when I was 8 though lol. Anyways, she just really is learning this stuff super fast. Ally has some really great insight also. She completely gobbled up the Gospel Principles book, and I think the Book of Mormon. (Hey Ally, I wonder how fast you can read the Bible? Old and New Testament lol. I'm going to try and read the Bible before my mission, word for word. And the Book of Mormon again... lots of reading!) ajd;fkaj Anyways... Ally got a mean comment on her profile against Mormons... that happens a lot on youtube when people know you are Mormon. I've gotten tons of messages. It actually kind of makes me happy because it just testifies how true the church really is. You see first hand people acting like they do towards your religion .. but nothing they say changes the fact that it is true. They throw a bunch of stuff at you like you've never heard it before (and like you haven't ever thought about that "fact" all these years). Pshaw. lol. Most of the members have done their research. We're not stupid.

Okay, anyways the point of this note was to share something that Ally wrote to someone that told her "Mormon's are going to Hell". I was just amazed, because Ally isn't even a member yet! It just makes me so happy. I'm going to send this guy a message later explaining a lot of things, not that he'll listen but he'll probably read it. :)

This is the message Ally sent me on here:
______
Hey Chels, I had this really rude and obnoxious stranger on youtube bashing me for being a mormon. He was saying mormonism leads to hell, etc. And guess what I told him? I tried posting it a few times on his channel page but he kept deleting it only cause he knew what I said was true and he couldn't find the right words to counter-argue. So.. I sent him a message.. and blocked him, ha ha. Like what you did to Thierry the Bully. :)

I wrote:

'Wow, thanks for making me realise how Christ-like you are from the way you go around discrediting the faith of others. I certainly can't measure up against you cause you're obviously so perfect. :) But I think you should really review the way you approach people instead of tactlessly and rudely bashing another's religion. We are all entitled to a freedom of religion and what gives you the right to judge others just because you think YOU are right? Only that's not very christian-like, is it? Christ never judged, yet He was perfect. And even you said so yourself that 'Jesus did NEVER preached against any hate, He himself hated iniquity (Heb.1:9), and so should we'. Jesus never hated nor discriminated against anyone, so why should you, given that you're so certain you're going to heaven? We should love everyone because we are essentially all sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. I know your intentions are good though. Thank you. :) Have a nice day.'

Personally, I feel that perfect people like him who 'claim' to walk in the name of Christ aren't exactly setting a 'perfect' example cause his own actions are contradictory to the ideals that he preaches. It is so misconstrued that he thinks we are Godhaters, cultists, etc, when he doesn't really know how to set a good example to others as a 'christian'. He left a comment on my channel, and I will not delete it because I am going to use it as a testimony to remind myself of why I CHOSE to be in this church and that WE mormons are setting better examples as Christ's followers because we don't go around attacking people like the way he is doing so blatantly. He amuses me actually. And mormons are definitely not devils. Anyway, remember what you've told me before, Chels? That at the end of the day, even if WE mormons were wrong about it, at least we still chose to live our entire lives righteously and closer to God and to do good things to all men. And now, that IS Christ-like. Amen to that. :)

And even if I were to 'go to hell for being a mormon' as he claims, to put it this way, hell would be a much better place without people like him around anyway. He wouldn't even make it to the telestial kingdom at this rate.

I stand by the truth at all times even if the sky falls on me. I believe we will most certainly reap the fruits of our labors later! Haha. :)

Ally :)
_______

She's awesome. I agree with her on a lot of points. There are all these pricinciples (which are true) that we are taught (and some truth other religions are taught) such as to use uplifting language, not to listen to music that drives away the spirit, to be chaste, to be kind to others, respect other religions, pray at least twice a day, read our scriptures daily (BOM and Bible), don't drink or smoke or do things that harm your body, to go to church and renew the sacred covenants we make with God, to be Christ-like etc... all of those things are good. People should respect that we (and others) are a covenant-making people. (Hey.. just like in the Bible!.. what do ya know?) All of the above don't drive us away from God, it draws us closer to Him. In theory (going off what Ally said), if everyone else is right, that we are going to"hell" (and I'm including people that aren't members of our religion but that LIVE those same things), then okay, I would love to go, to "hell" that is. I'd rather be with people who are kind and have characteristics like those listed above then with people who do the opposite.. are mean, disrespect, discriminate on all different levels, and a bunch of other things.

When people write those kinds of things about any religion (and this guy was bashing almost every religion and he is claiming to be Christian)... they should do some research into what that religion truly believes and practices.Ally, that was a good way to look at it. Just turn it around and based upon what's going on.. really look at it.. because I just looked deeper into what "going to hell" would REALLY mean, in theory. Hell is anywhere that God isn't. And if people possess Christ-like characteristics and have made and kept the covenants Christ has layed out for us, with the proper authority, ... well.. then wouldn't they not be going in the wrong direction?
There are only two colors, black and white. There are no shades of grey when it comes to absolute truth.

Thank you Ally. :)

I believe in alone time,

2009-04-26T22:38:00.002-06:00

I drove out to the sand dunes today. I'd never been there before. I like going on drives. I have dexplored the outskirts of Rexburg.

The Saint Anthony Sand Dunes are the same ones that the grandma from Napolean Dynamite flew off of.

I liked spending some time there. They were so cool. I parked my car and went in a little walk. It was a bit chilly. I had a skirt on. Next time I'll be wearing jeans. I collected some sand. I don't k ow what I'm going to do with it. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I wonder why I like to be alone. Do I feel safe when I'm by myself? Sure, sometimes. I like the quietness. I like to be able to stand in the middle of no where with no other person within a few miles. I wish I could just teleport to the middle of no where, lay down and take a nap. See, when you drive to the middle of no where that's a little hard to do because if someone drives by and sees a car with no one in it, that could be some trouble. Because, I'd probably have walked out far from my car, but not too far so they could see me. Then my nap would be disturbed because the person might want to see what's going on.

Maybe I like being in control more than I know. I am usually very happy when I'm with a group and they are making the decisions. I would rather they be happy than me.. Even though I like it when people are happy. But, when I'm alone I am in control. I'm not in control of the environment, but of the "atmosphere" yes. I can hear what's going around me better. I like to be aware.

Confession. Sometimes I want something bad/ exciting to happen like a robber breaking in so I can totally beat them up. In my head I imagine myself doing a good job but I don't know if that's very realistic. I guess I feel like I need to be extra alert because I want to protect those around me. That requires a lit of courage and sometimes I do get pretty scared. At least I do when I'm alone. That's ironic. K sometimes when I'm alone. Usually i'm scared if I'm alone in the dark. Childhood fear thatsnot completely gone away. It's better then it was.

I like my mind. I was talking with Chantelle earlier. She was talking about Charles Dickens and how he can make his characters so realistic. She felt sorry for this one character. I told her I wished there would be books that you could just open and feel everything that "the author" wanted you to feel and understand. That's how I work. I don't think words are completely necessary for some things. I like watching people and interpreting what they're going through or what they're thinking. I like to interpret myself. It's an interesting experience.

-- Post From My iPod

I believe in my grandpa.

2009-04-24T13:19:00.002-06:00

Right now I'm sitting outside of the academic advising office in the Austin. I am a music compostie major and I need a minor. I've been thinking a lot about it. I was going to do family studies but I wasn't sure. If I needed to work my major kind of isn't stable for that so I am actually looking into minoring in geology. Random right? My grandpa was a geologist and he absolutely loved his job. I don't know what area I would focus on right now, but I feel good about this minor rift now. I'm taking my first geology class this semester and like it so far. Well see how I like it in a month or so.

Man, I miss my grandpa so much. He's the one to the right that is carrying me. He died of Cancer when I was 8 years old. He wasn't LDS. At my baptism, a month before he died, he said he had wishes he had gotten baptized with me. We got the work done for him when I was 12 or 13. That was a cool
Day. I know he'll help me out with my homework. :)

-- Post From My iPod

I believe in Chantelle & Katrina.

2009-04-19T22:27:00.006-06:00

I really need to express how much I missed Chantelle and Katrina. They are going to be my roommates again this semester. We're staying in the same apartment. The break was only a week, and I did see Chantelle Wed & Thurs last week, but still! I was sitting on the couch talking to my new roommates when Chantelle came in. Oh my gosh I was so excited to see her. Katrina just barely came back a few minutes ago and I was way excited to see her too. I love them soooo much. My whole face just lit up.

Things are a little weird with me. I'm feeling a lot of mixed emotions at the moment. School starts again tomorrow. I'm excited to ride my bike to school! I love riding my bike and it will finally be warm enough. I'm taking 9 classes- all music except Geology and Mission Prep. I'll be in Bluegrass Ensemble & Jazz Combos. I really wanted to be in University Band and play my saxophone but I couldn't move one of my classes to make it fit. :( I'm wondering if I will learn a new instrument in bluegrass. There are a few guitar players and no mandalin. That would be interesting. I'm taking brass methods so I will learn all those brass instruments. I don't want to overload...

I wish I was invisible. I love to observe people. Sometimes I feel bad because I don't talk much... and I probably don't appear very personable but I just love learning about people I know. I guess I do it in a different way, by just observing then asking. I think I need to work on that. I'm not very good at conversation. I love watching people and laughing at little things they do. Maybe it sounds like I'm a creep.

Ah,!! I'm so excited Chantelle and Katrina are here. It's nice living with people I know for once. This is my 5th semester. I've switched apartment complexes everytime looking for good roommates and a ward. I've found them. (I had great roommates Winter 08 but... one got married, one transferred to BYU, and one went home) If I stay for the Fall, we're thinking about switching complexes because the internet here doesn't work too well. Ah,asdkjf;la I'm so excited and relieved! I don't even know! You know that feeling you get around certain people? Like safety, security, happiness or, just like, you know. I don't even know how to describe it. I'm feeling that now. I've been terrified every semester of living around completely new people.

I already miss Charity, Jessica and Morgan (<- haha Morgan was only actually in our apartment for a week max) I still miss her.

K, I feel weird writing my feelings out because people are going to read this. I hate saying I'm lonely but I am. At the same time that I'm so excited and feel that I belong and stuff but I also feel so alone! When am I going to meet someone that's like me and completely understands me? That will just sit here with me and we won't have to say a word to each other and it would be completely fine. We just understand. We can observe people together. I can talk to them about anything. I don't like digging deep down and sharing things. Only sometimes. Hmm everything is so interesting. Ah I don't know what's wrong with me! I feel like crying, and now I'm laughing! Ah. I want to sleep in my car. I'm so weird. I understand myself, but I don't at the same time. Haha. Oh my gosh. Maybe I'm just really tired. I knew this would happen. Katrina would get here and I would go all quietish. Ha ha. K. I'm going to bed now. Big first day of school. Yayyy.

I believe in the Spirit of Ricks

2009-04-14T00:50:00.004-06:00

I went down to Provo with some friends this evening. When I go down there, I think about what my life would be like if I had gone to BYU instead of BYUI. Sure, they're sisters, but as similar as sisters can be, they can also be very different. For those that go to BYUI or have been there, you probably know what I'm talking about. There's a special spirit on the campus of BYUI and in Rexburg. I love it so much. I don't ever want to leave that. Everything about BYUI makes me feel like I can achieve my full potential. I feel a special connection with everyone else there. My teachers have been so kind to me and are willing to help me. My roommates this past semester have been great examples to me. I'm sooo grateful that I got to live with them. Each has had a positive impact in my life. When I'm in Rexburg I feel like I'm really home. I've never felt more at home in a place before. I'm so happy there. Sometimes I go on drives out into the country to think. I love being able to do that. I love the open land, the climate, the atmosphere, the everything. I want to live in Idaho when I'm married and I want to grow old there. I don't think I could ever let it go. The only other place I would really love to live, but can't is Yellowstone National Park.

There are a lot of people that obey the honor code. I love that. I love when there's unity. I used to think some of the things that are in the honor code are ridiculous, but you know, I've thought about reasons why they are there and I won't argue with it. Those that run the school are inspired and listen to the spirit. The hand of the Lord is prominent in this University. I feel it everyday. This place is like no other and I'm so glad that I have the opportunity to go to school there. I'm a better person because of it. Everything about it pushes me to be a better person. It's absolutely wonderful. :)

I've also been thinking, I'm glad that I can't see what I will be like 10 years from now, or what I will be like at the end of a trial. It's too much fun to look back and see the progress that I've made. Of course sometimes I wish my future self would give my present self some encouragement. Progress is amazing. BYUI helps me progress by teaching and helping me be a better person each day. I love that Spirit of Ricks. :)

I believe in uncommon happenings.

2009-04-12T22:16:00.009-06:00

My mom makes the most wonderful pretzel/jello dish. I don't know if there's a name for it. I absolutely love it. While she was preparing it for our Easter dinner, I was outside blowing bubbles at my dog. My dog had never had the bubble experience. She was scared but had the courage to chase a few of them. We came back inside the house and I was speaking to mom. She had water in the microwave. She was trying to boil it for the jello. In the middle of our conversation she opened the microwave. Steam was coming out. She grabbed the glass measuring cup the water was in and there was an explosion. It was scary. The steam looked like it was smoke, boiling hot water went everywhere, on the ceiling, floor, top of the fridge, and all over my mom. She stood there paralyzed. The whole time she still had the glass measuring cup in her hand. I was so shocked that that happened. If I was her, I would have dropped the measuring cup and jumped. She couldn't move. It was so weird to me. I felt proud of her that she handled the situation so well. After the shock went away she put the cup on the counter. Her face was all red. She had been burnt. She went to the bathroom to put a cold rag on her face. My aunt & cousin just happened to come in while this was going on. I told them that the water exploded and mom got burnt. My aunt went to go get some burn relief cream.

Mom is okay. Her face is still a little red but it will be better tomorrow. We have an idea of why it could have done that. It had been in the microwave for about 5 minutes, and it wasn't boiling. It wasn't boiling because there were no "scratches" on the inside of the cup for bubbles to form. So when my mom touched & moved it, all of that... tension, I guess you could say got released. This is a myth buster explanation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_OXM4mr_i0

I've kept thinking about how she never let go of the cup. But I realize why she didn't even move.

My mom has Multiple Sclerosis. It's a progressive disorder of the nerves. It's like having a power

cable with no wire. You can't control the electricity. If my mom wants her foot to move, sometimes

it won't move at all or it will drag. The same thing happened today. It was such a shock for her

body, her muscles wouldn't respond. She couldn't have let go if she wanted to. She will be tired

tomorrow from it. I feel really bad for her. If I could, I would make it so I had the MS and she didn't.

I don't know what it was but it seemed like we were being told not to eat jello. After my mom

prepared it, my Uncle came over and accidentally dropped it. We had to start again haha. The

final product was delicious. We had dinner at my cousin's house. It was great. :)

Happy Easter everyone.